Jesus, Santa and Superheros Spank!

Jesus Spanks!

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Now I never would have known if I hadn’t seen it for myself. If I knock down a hornets nest from a tree Jesus will think I am bad and make me sick and spank my ass. Now I think this is kind of perverse to give to kids. I mean even as adults if the son of god were to come down here, pull your pants down and spank your bottom side until you cried, wouldn’t you shake up a hornets nest just to get to see him? There would be a line out the door of every church in the world. I’m not into spanking for the eroticism but even that scenario sparks my interest. Who knew that God was a spank-er.

It gets worse as you will see (or better depending on your point of view). In the 1960′s and 1970′s comics for the most part were geared to children and teenagers.  We didn’t have mainstream graphic novels back then. But apparently we still had adult themes. I wonder with the way society is today, if the woman’s movement would have a fit seeing this clip of batman spanking Wonder Woman’s ass. Yes that is supposed to be Wonder Woman.  To bad she can’t spin around and get that golden lasso out to tie him up with and give it back to him. Now I wonder what is becoming of  young ward Robin? Oh I see he has gotten himself into a bit of trouble. Sparkling Rosy Bottom Batman! Now how does this happen in a comic book? The young boy gets thrown over some business mans knee, good thing he’s a Super Hero. What will happen when Batman finds out? Does this mean that young Robin was cheating? Do the crime fighting duo have an open relationship? Tune in next week to find out if young Robin is leaving the Caped Crusader for Superman! Oh the frustrations these Superhero’s must endure to bring sanity to this world in crisis. Only thing I would like to know at this point is “What would Jesus Say?” When I happened upon these comic clips not only was I in shock but also I was intrigued? Were these images socially accepted? I don’t really know how to feel about this. I don’t have any issues with spanking a child, in fact I think more kids these days need it.  But spanking an adult seems to me rather humiliating.

There is not room for this clip here, but I also learned (via cartoon short) that a spanking can upset a small child’s fragile nervous system and can cause him constipation.  Instead he should be given Castor Oil and he will no longer throw fits or be constipated. No kidding, give him Castor Oil and he’ll be shitting himself all day, the child will be afraid to move for fear of his rectum letting lose and a long brown trail leading to his hiding spot. Yeah I’m sure the child would much rather receive the spanking!

Apparently, just like Jesus, Santa likes to spank as well. Although it appears that Santa doesn’t like to spank little girls like Jesus does, or even young boys like the business man. Santa likes to spank Daddy. I wonder what daddy did to deserve a spanking from Santa? Santa must be really mad since he pulled Daddy’s pants down for the spanking! This comic leaves me almost perplexed.  I located the site I found it on thinking this must be a gay advertisement of sorts. But no, it was not connected to the anything homosexual, just Santa spanking daddy. All I can tell here is that Daddy seems happy, even though he has no hands. Thus leading me to believe that grown men who place the star of Bethlehem on top of their Christmas tree probably don’t leave cookies out for Santa. Well not the traditional kind of cookies.

This last one I found has me wondering if My Dad or My Grandfather ever took matters into hand, or into paddle I should say. With all the advertisements (and there are plenty, just not enough room here to post them all) suggesting spanking is almost expected of a man I wonder how they couldn’t have. I found an ad that suggested if the wife did not purchase the correct coffee she should get spanked, and another that wives should be spanked before attending party’s so they wouldn’t misbehave. All this time I have disillusioned myself into believing that spanking never was acceptable beyond the age of 10 and even that was pushing it. This Advertisement here on the right even refers to spanking your wife as a “Manly Art” and for only 15 cents you can get this little booklet (not anymore this is old) to teach you how to do so.  I can only imagine in today’s society how this would go over, with the booklet left on the coffee table when meeting the parents of the bride.

Now that you know how Jesus, Santa, Batman and Robin, Superman, and even Daddy feel about spanking who you gonna paddle first?  If it’s okay for Jesus it’s okay for me, I happen to know a whole bunch of naughty Christians.

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